The Struggle for Recognition

I used to think tension was a sign that I cared. That the tightness in my shoulders, the way I held my breath without realizing it, the constant hum of “do more, be better, prove it”—that all of it meant I was committed. Driven. Disciplined. But recently, I had a moment that quietly unraveled that belief. It happened in a yoga class. Not in some dramatic, life-altering way. No big breakdown, no tears on the mat. Just a small, almost imperceptible shift. The kind that sneaks up on you and then lingers.

I heard the word hypervigilance. And something in me clicked.

The Moment I Realized I Was “Doing It Right”… Wrong

I’ve always been the one who wants to get it right. The good student. The high performer. The one who listens closely, tries hard, pushes a little further. In yoga, that looked like perfect form. Strong poses. Pushing through discomfort. Making it look effortless—even when it wasn’t. But what I learned that day stopped me in my tracks: Hypervigilance in yoga isn’t a strength. It’s a sign you’re disconnected.

It means you’re gripping. Overthinking. Performing. It means you’re outside your body instead of inside it. And suddenly, I saw myself clearly—not just in yoga, but everywhere.

The Hidden Cost of Always Proving Yourself

There’s a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from constantly trying to prove your worth. Not because someone explicitly asked you to—but because somewhere along the way, you decided that’s what it takes to be valuable. So you push. You overdeliver. You chase recognition. You wait—sometimes desperately—for that subtle nod, that validation, that “you did great.” And when it doesn’t come?

You try harder and that’s the trap.

Because the effort doesn’t stop—it escalates. And before you know it, you’re running on empty, wondering why all that work isn’t giving you what you thought it would. I’ve been there. Honestly, I still visit that place more often than I’d like to admit.

The Day I Put My Knees Down

Not long ago, I walked into a yoga class with a nagging shoulder injury. Old me would’ve ignored it. Pushed through. Proved I could still do everything. But this time, I made a different decision.

I put my knees down.

For the entire class. It felt… uncomfortable. Not physically, but mentally. There was this voice whispering:

This is lazy.
This is weak.
People will notice.

But here’s the truth: no one noticed. No one cared. And more importantly—nothing about my worth changed. I was still strong. Still capable. Still me.

That moment cracked something open.

Because if putting my knees down in a yoga class didn’t diminish me… what else had I been wrong about?

What If You Didn’t Have to Push So Hard?

What if the constant tension you carry isn’t necessary? What if your value isn’t tied to how hard you push, how much you produce, or how perfectly you perform? What if you could take a step back—just a small one—and nothing would fall apart?

I’ve started experimenting with what I call “knees down days.”

Days where I consciously choose ease over intensity. Where I move things on my calendar. Where I take a walk instead of powering through. Where I check in with my breath instead of ignoring it. And every time, I notice something surprising:

The work still gets done.
I still show up.
I still contribute.

But I feel… lighter.

Learning to Notice Instead of Judge

The biggest shift hasn’t been in what I do—it’s in what I notice. I notice when I’m holding my breath. When my shoulders creep up toward my ears. When that familiar urge to “just push through” starts to rise. And instead of judging it, I pause. Just long enough to ask:

Is this actually helping me?

Reclaiming My Own Validation

One of the hardest parts of this journey has been letting go of the need for external validation. Not entirely—I’m human. I still appreciate recognition.But I’m learning to give it to myself first.

To acknowledge the ways I create value.
To recognize my effort without needing someone else to confirm it.
To trust that I’m enough—even on the days I don’t go all out.

Because the truth is, if I don’t believe that… no amount of praise will ever feel like enough.

A Quiet Rebellion

There’s something quietly rebellious about choosing ease in a world that glorifies hustle. About stepping out of the cycle of overwork and overproving. About deciding that your worth isn’t up for negotiation. It doesn’t look dramatic from the outside.

It looks like taking a walk.
Like moving a meeting.
Like breathing a little deeper.
Like putting your knees down.

But inside? It feels like freedom.

Where I’m Landing (For Now)

I’m not “fixed.” I don’t think this is something you fix. It’s something you practice. Some days, I still slip into old patterns. I push too hard. I forget to breathe. I chase the pat on the back. But now, I catch it sooner. And sometimes—just sometimes—I choose differently.

I choose to soften.
To step back.
To trust that I don’t have to earn my worth every single day.

And that, more than anything, is changing everything. If you’re anything like me, maybe you don’t need to push harder.

Maybe you just need to put your knees down—and see what happens.

Jaime is a Strategic Business Consultant, Advisor and Executive Coach with over 20 years of experience growing and leading companies. She has scaled and sold startups, served as a COO, and coached leadership teams through pivotal stages of growth and transition.

Known for her ability to quickly see what’s underneath the surface in both businesses and leaders, Jaime helps high-achievers avoid burnout through mindset, boundary setting, clarifying their career direction, strengthening decision-making, and building sustainable ways of working that align with the life they want to lead.

She is also a trained yoga instructor, bringing an integrated approach to leadership that blends strategic clarity with nervous system regulation and embodied presence.