I’m struggling to find the right words. Which is abnormal for me. Usually I just let them flow without too much editing and sooner or later the idea makes itself clear. But these days, as I’ve combined my self-growth with my work, I feel stuck. What is the right word? What is the right message? What will make people see themselves in my struggle? Or feel inspired by my lack of struggle?

This is quick becoming my favorite topic. I also like the word magic because it immediately takes us out of the everyday grind and helps us believe there’s something more. The only reason we don’t allow in more magic is because we were trained to be grounded, realistic, pragmatic and logical. We were trained by people who had no magic in their lives.

I couldn't think of a title that better encapsulated this issue than laying it out in a full sentence. I have heard at least 4 friends and clients say this to me over the last two weeks, so I felt compelled to address the issue since I'm sure many people are experiencing the same thing. I want to help!

Ah the elusive life’s purpose. It’s so heavy, serious, difficult to find, scary to explore and impossible to pursue. Actually, none of that is true but it’s easier to think all of those things because then we don’t have to feel uncomfortable searching it out. We can keep making do, being “fine" and having a pretty ok life, even though inside we feel empty and unfulfilled.

Fear is so helpful at keeping out of harm’s way, and also fear is an incredible burden. Fear doesn’t understand the difference between the things that could kill us and the things that might make us feel uncomfortable. Like giving a presentation, or talking to our boss about a raise or moving, fear shows up ahead of these events in the same way it shows up before we go skydiving.

I’m prepping for a talk about Overcoming Fear and will be incorporating tools and tips from Julia Cameron’s new book: The Listening Path. Even before picking up the book I’d been thinking a lot about listening considering its role in my work. I talk to clients all day about their fears, their hopes, their roadblocks and their successes. And I’ve had to learn to listen in a new way.

I like to start with definitions. Burn-out: cease to function as a result of excessive heat or friction. Note that the definition doesn’t say, ‘limited function’ or ‘slow down’. Cease to function literally means to stop functioning. If you run too long, or burn too long, or create friction for too long, you will CEASE TO FUNCTION. This isn’t to be taken lightly.

Unstuck has two meanings. To no longer be stuck, and to come unstuck which basically means to experience difficulties and to fail. Both are relevant. To move forward, to unstick yourself, to get out of the old habits that aren’t getting you anywhere, guess what? You’re going to feel uncomfortable and you need to be willing to fail. I hate that word because it feels so definitive.

What’s an urge and why does it matter? An urge is a strong desire or impulse. It can come up around anything. Food. Alcohol. Anger. Worry. An urge on its own is not a bad thing. It’s just there, like a cloud. It doesn’t do anything until we activate it.

I've always been a resolutions person. A goal setter. A planner. This year of course was different. In 2020 we learned that planning any farther than two weeks ahead is a waste of time. Goals are nice, they keep us focused, but reaching them is sometimes out of our control. We have to let go of the outcome and be proud of ourselves for embarking on the journey.

Purpose is a loaded word, let’s be honest. We believe it’s the reason we exist, this purpose, so we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to unlock our purpose, to give us a sense of determination, so that our intentions and goals are tied to this purpose. So yea, it’s loaded and makes us put a lot of pressure on ourselves. But most of the time our purpose is a lot closer than we realize, we’re just moving too fast to see it.

These days there's no more separation of work life and personal life. We take meetings in our bedrooms, we introduce our kids to the VP when they walk into our home office unannounced, we grocery shop in the middle of the day and we forget to dry our hair after the shower (if we remember to take a shower). There's no more compartmentalizing our work selves and our personal selves.

People try their whole lives to avoid feeling uncomfortable. If our goal in life is to find happiness, then discomfort and pain just get in the way. We are taught to avoid those feelings, push them down, hide from them, so that we can force ourselves to be happy. But if we didn’t know pain and discomfort, would we even recognize happiness? Don’t you need one to know the other?

It’s a weird time, true, but don’t let that stop you. Maybe you’ve been using the quarantine to think about what you really want to do, googling, “how do I find my purpose?” You might feel more awareness about yourself, but you’re also stuck. Maybe you’ve been laid off, or work has slowed down, or work has sped up, or you’re more worried about money or you are home with the kids and don’t have as much time; things are different, very different.

Finding our higher purpose used to be something we did in our spare time, outside of work. But now, as we force corporations to be more purpose driven, we as employees need to drive ourselves to find purpose inside of our daily work too. Without purpose, we're just going through the motions and shirking from challenge and change.