Self-sabotage is something we all do because we don’t feel worthy of feeling amazing. How could we? The world is full of war, hatred, racism, poverty, greed, and grief…why should we be allowed to feel good? It’s a noble idea, a way of furthering empathy for other humans, and it makes perfect sense to want to feel bad on behalf of others.

I love old timey words like ‘heed’. I could say “listen to the call”, but instead I like “heed”, a word that means not only ‘listen’, but ‘pay attention’, careful attention, and then do something about it. This ‘heeding the call’ thing is something of a super power of mine.

This is quite possible one of the things my clients hate the most and resist the most and defend the most. “Jaime trust me, it’s because of my job that I’m miserable.” “Jaime, seriously, the only reason I’m depressed is because of the pandemic.” “Jaime, I’m scared, not because of my thoughts, but because I got laid off and I am not going to find a job in this market.”

And stories aren’t facts, they are just things we’ve chosen to believe. Think about stories that may have held you back. “I’m terrible with money.” “I am super disorganized.” “I am so lazy.” It’s likely your brain has gone searching to find evidence to support these claims, and since you found evidence, you continue to believe the stories.

I’m struggling to find the right words. Which is abnormal for me. Usually I just let them flow without too much editing and sooner or later the idea makes itself clear. But these days, as I’ve combined my self-growth with my work, I feel stuck. What is the right word? What is the right message? What will make people see themselves in my struggle? Or feel inspired by my lack of struggle?

This is quick becoming my favorite topic. I also like the word magic because it immediately takes us out of the everyday grind and helps us believe there’s something more. The only reason we don’t allow in more magic is because we were trained to be grounded, realistic, pragmatic and logical. We were trained by people who had no magic in their lives.

Fear is so helpful at keeping out of harm’s way, and also fear is an incredible burden. Fear doesn’t understand the difference between the things that could kill us and the things that might make us feel uncomfortable. Like giving a presentation, or talking to our boss about a raise or moving, fear shows up ahead of these events in the same way it shows up before we go skydiving.

I’m prepping for a talk about Overcoming Fear and will be incorporating tools and tips from Julia Cameron’s new book: The Listening Path. Even before picking up the book I’d been thinking a lot about listening considering its role in my work. I talk to clients all day about their fears, their hopes, their roadblocks and their successes. And I’ve had to learn to listen in a new way.

What’s an urge and why does it matter? An urge is a strong desire or impulse. It can come up around anything. Food. Alcohol. Anger. Worry. An urge on its own is not a bad thing. It’s just there, like a cloud. It doesn’t do anything until we activate it.

I've always been a resolutions person. A goal setter. A planner. This year of course was different. In 2020 we learned that planning any farther than two weeks ahead is a waste of time. Goals are nice, they keep us focused, but reaching them is sometimes out of our control. We have to let go of the outcome and be proud of ourselves for embarking on the journey.

People try their whole lives to avoid feeling uncomfortable. If our goal in life is to find happiness, then discomfort and pain just get in the way. We are taught to avoid those feelings, push them down, hide from them, so that we can force ourselves to be happy. But if we didn’t know pain and discomfort, would we even recognize happiness? Don’t you need one to know the other?